Latests....

Latest movie: Donnie Darko. It's a bizarre film, a compelling film, a disturbing film, a strangely intense film...I'm drawn to it over and over, and I keep finding more symbolism and more details of the film every time I see it. It's definitely one of those films that gets better every time you watch it; the first time it just seemed weird and disturbing, but further viewings and hearing the commentaries really made it clear how tightly-plotted and filmed it is. Cool film.

Latest technology: I am the proud owner of an iPod! Q got me the iPod as a gift to celebrate the completion of my summer semester of teaching -- yay! It took a little doing to get the thing working...for some reason, the menu was in Japanese, and of course, I couldn't change it, because I can't read Japanese...but we did finally get it working, and I love it! I can't wait to put most or all of my favorite music on it and make new playlists for dance workouts and classes.

Latest gig: Sunday I danced in a fundraiser for another dancer. I wore a new dress -- turquoise with gold and silver beading -- a Madame Abla original. Fun gig, but it was really HOT!

Latest realization: Tuesdays this semester are long days -- first class at 11am and last class ends at 9:10pm. Teaching stamina is definitely in order. ;)

Computer coma and recovery, gearing up and digging out

So my new computer was running fine for about a week, and then it started crashing (everything froze and I had to shut it down manually). Then it wouldn't boot up at all -- just black screen. Poor computer went into a coma. But luckily, Q suggested having it built in a local shop, so I could take it back there for repair. They had to replace the power supply, and now the computer is back up and lively again! Yippee!

I am still in the process of "digging out," as one book calls it -- I am in the midst of my semi-annual clear out the clutter phase. I have almost finished my office at work (which looks remarkably and almost frighteningly neat), and I am almost finished with my study at home (although we have visions of some new furniture configurations which might require an additional pass at a later date). I am partly through with my art studio area, although it never seems to really get straightened up -- I think I need to finish a lot of projects before that area can look really organized. I finished a book on organizing for the creative-minded person, and although I found some aspects of it annoying, I learned two things. One, I really do want things out in plain sight, so I should figure out ways to have them organized, but not out of sight. Two, it would probably help if I spent a little time every day or so putting things away, filing, etc. This semi-annual process feels very rewarding to me, but it takes a long time and I would probably be better served by dealing with things more regularly. However, I truly dislike filing and clearing-up, so I'm simply not sure how that will work.

Classes start on Monday, and I want everything in order before then -- but I still need to finish revising my syllabi and setting up the course websites. Ack! Where did the summer go?

I did a bit of yoga the other day for the first time (one of the workouts on the DVD Yoga for Inflexible People), and it was surprisingly relaxing. It was somewhat physically challenging at times, but I did feel very relaxed, sleepy and at-peace at the end. Of course, the computer crashed after that, so my peace was short-lived, but I think I'll try it again soon. I had no idea what the narrator was talking about sometimes, though -- she talked about bringing your thighs up and back...what? There were a bunch of physical descriptions that I just couldn't figure out. Oh, well, as long as I don't injure myself, it should be fine.

Now I'm off to pick up the stuff that came from my grandparents' house in Wisconsin -- my brother has been storing it in a storage unit, and we are going to move it all out today. Oh no, more stuff!

Who am I?

Writer's block -- don't you hate it? I have been struggling for some time now with the task of writing text for my dance website. Poor Q, who worked tirelessly to create a gorgeous website for me as a Middle-Eastern dancer, has been waiting for months for me to write text to go on the website. But I'm stuck -- I can't figure out how to describe myself as a dancer. I've never much liked this task, although I have figured out a formula for writing dance introductions for an MC at this point. But now I need to come up with some overall description of my dancer-self, and I am stymied. I have some text for specialties that I have in dance, and who I've studied with, but the introduction -- how I frame myself as a dancer -- is still giving me trouble.

So, for those of you who have seen me perform: How would you describe my dancing? What adjectives come to mind? What was most memorable? I welcome ideas, suggestions, and testimonials of all kinds (well, almost all kinds...keep it clean, folks!) ;)

Vagina Hearts

I wanted to post some of the pictures of my recent foray into vulva/vaginal textile art. As I mentioned in a previous post , I was inspired by my experience of working on the campus production of The Vagina Monologues to make a series of "Vagina Hearts."

The quality of the photos is not high; I'm still learning the nuances of the digital camera, and it shows. It's hard to photograph shiny beads and sequins, as well as get the focus right on such small items. But I think you can get a sense of the pieces, in spite of the flawed photographs. Enjoy!






An homage to Keith Haring's work, which I love.




Inspired by the monologue "I Was Twelve. My Mother Slapped Me"; the bead fringe represents the first flow of menstrual blood.
"I like the drops that drop into the toilet. Like paint."


Inspired by "My Angry Vagina." "My vagina's furious and it needs to talk."


"If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?"
"Purple feathers and twigs and shells."
The "clitoris" bead here is paua shell.


Inspired by the "Hair" monologue. "You cannot love a vagina unless you love hair."


"If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?"
"A leopard hat."
The actress I worked with who had this line was shy and quiet, but she said this line with enormous enthusiasm and playfulness -- I just loved it.


Inspired by "The Flood" monologue.
"If your vagina could talk, what would it say?
It would say 'Closed, due to flooding."
For all the women who were taught to be ashamed of female ejaculation.

Reading, reading...

One of my favorite aspects of train travel is the opportunity to read on the train. So in my recent trip to NYC, I was able to finish reading a new book of essays on brief sex therapy:

Green, S., & Flemons, D. (Eds.) (2004). Quickies: The Handbook of Brief Sex Therapy. W. W. Norton.

I have little background in the theory and practice of brief therapy, so it was fascinating to learn more about the brief therapy approach. Each essay was by a different clinician, and each approached therapeutic practice slightly differently. Each then discussed how their therapeutic approach was applied to sexual difficulties, with examples from individuals and couples they had treated.

Overall, I was impressed by their sensitivity to the client's worldview -- most of the essays emphasized respecting the client's understanding of the problem, their framing of the issues, their values, and their current stage of change. At the same time, the therapists stressed the potential for the therapeutic context to shift the client's framing of the problem and perspective in ways that facilitated positive change and greater satisfaction. Over and over, the therapists revealed the power of language and how the problem was framed. By normalizing the experience, being nonblaming, stressing the strengths of the clients, and reframing the issue in ways which emphasized new possibilities, the therapists could promote positive change in remarkably short periods of time. While certainly not all problems can be solved in 5-10 therapy visits, and no therapist can claim universal success, many of these cases revealed dramatic change within a few sessions. This was particularly impressive when the couple has been struggling with the problem on their own or with doctors for years, and they saw resolution of the issues in only a few therapy sessions.

In addition, I appreciated the emphasis on understanding sexual issues as contextual and relational, best understood within the clients' relationships and current context. The therapists resisted the notion of one member of the couple being "the patient with the problem", and instead engaged both members of the couple in defining the issue and moving toward resolution. As many sex therapists have noted, a great number of sexual problems are related to relational issues, each influencing the other.

Finally, I really valued the willingness of the therapists to embrace sexual diversity. Not only were there several articles devoted to treatment of same-sex couples, there was also a strong emphasis on sexual expression beyond traditional phallocentric intercourse models and on intimacy, not just goal-oriented sexuality. Several articles stressed the necessity of being open to varied sexual expressions, as long as they are consensual and not harmful or abusive. For example, there was a fascinating article on sex addiction which challenged the application of this diagnosis, focusing on whether the sexual behaviors are actually harmful within the client's life or not.

Overall, an excellent book which broadened my knowledge of therapy and sex therapy. I recommend it to anyone interested in couples therapy or sex therapy.

Computer and visiting -- whee!

New computer has arrived, and Q set it up -- yay! New OS, DVD player, good stuff. I was finally able to install Photoshop with the new OS, and I got to play around with some digital photos last night. I can tell there will be a steep learning curve, but everyone seems to like the capabilities of Photoshop, so hopefully it will work well.

I went to NYC from Sunday to Tuesday to visit with my sisters, which was really nice. I got to see three out of four sisters (one was out of town), and one of my nieces (she's very cute!). It was a short visit, but it was great to see them; I won't be able to go again for a while, so I wanted to make sure I got to see them. When I got there, it was BUCKETING rain -- I haven't seen such intense downpour in a while! But it signaled a break in the heat, which was fortuitous for me. I am also amazed at how many people are packed into Manhattan -- it's an incredible density of people.

Last week we saw the Lemony Snickett movie, which was excellent! Accurate to the books, good acting, and beautiful visuals. They did a neat job of combining the feel of the Victorian era with modern technology and other anachronisms without it being distracting. Plus, it had some great music and some of the best end credits I've seen in a while.

Movies, TV, and pesto

First basil pesto of the season -- yummy! Basil from the garden, made into delicious pesto by my Sweetie. And then we ate some -- even better! -- while watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. So now we're caught up on the HP movies; 2nd and 3rd movies were quite good: Some compression and changes from the book, but nothing that violated the spirit of the books, and generally strengthened the pace of the screenplay. Oh, and fabulous special effects! We decided to take our next vacation at Hogwarts...it's a beautiful campus, even if it is a bit dangerous. ;)

We went to see the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last weekend. I liked it, but it is a dramatic shift from the first film, and, although in some ways more closely allied to the book, it represented a different overall theme arc. I won't give plot spoilers, but: I loved the musical numbers (more consistently entertaining than the original film, and lyrics from Roald Dahl), the special effects were excellent, and the overall "feel" of the film was very good. I think my only reservations were related to Johnny Depp's characterization of Willy Wonka and the shift in the overall theme arc. This movie is much more about Willy Wonka's character development than it is about Charlie's, and I don't think that improves the film (IMHO). Depp is definitely eccentric and offbeat, but I'm not sure he captures what I think of as the essence of Willy Wonka (though I do admit that it would be hard to replace Gene Wilder as the quintessential Willy Wonka in my book). But Depp's reaction shots are GREAT -- he has fabulous facial expressions which are truly creepy.

I watched the first 6 episodes of Kids in the Hall [yay, Netflix!], and I had forgotten how odd it was. It's a very absurdist show; not consistently funny to me, but some very amusing bits within it. I loved a monologue by Dave Foley, excerpted below:

Dave: Hi, my name's Dave Foley, and, uh, something you might not know about me is that .. I have a good attitude towards menstruation. That's right, I'm the guy! The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!

Oh, I know a lot of men are made uncomfortable by this monthly miracle. But not me. No, I embrace it. Embrace it the way the way some men embrace the weekend! Why I anticipate it the way a child anticipates Christmas!

. . .

That's why the woman I shall love will be able to menstruate as fully and freely as she desires. Even if her monthly flow should build in intensity to a raging rust colored torrent! An unbridled river of life giving blood flowing from between her legs! An awesome cataract plunging off the edge of our couch. I wouldn't be fazed! No, no, even if coureur de bois would come up stream, battling the rapids, and singing a 'jaunty song'! I would take no offense, rather I would ford across that mighty womanly river, and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin. And then I would mop her brow and admire her fecundity. For I...Have A Good Attitude....Towards MENSTRUATION!
www.kithfan.org

Now, why can't more men (and women) feel that way! Although, at least Q does. ;)

After a long day of gardening, I'm off to a hot bath to ease VERY sore muscles and then bed.

Razor or vibrator? You decide

Funny article from SFGate about the new women's razor from Gillette.

Sad news

I just found out the my graduate advisor passed away recently. I had been out of touch with him for almost a year, and I was just thinking of revisiting some of our mutual projects and contacting him. I wish I had stayed in better touch. He was a terrific advisor -- smart, incisive, funny, he provided guidance without being controlling. He was never afraid of critiquing the mainstream approaches in the field and he inspired me to look for alternative explanations for social phenomena. I learned so much from him about writing, critical thinking, research methodology, and how to be an academic psychologist. I hope he knew how much I appreciated his mentoring. I'll miss him.

Too many chives and other important gardening facts

I awoke with the determination to get outside and clean up the ridiculously overgrown front garden. It's in the style of an English cottage garden, so I can get away with it being overgrown, but it was getting to be a bit much. So, on with the sunscreen and the floppy hat and out into the garden. That's when I discovered some vital, hiterhto unknown, facts.

For example, it is possible to have TOO MANY CHIVES. I cannot stress this fact enough. I was tired of looking at the row of floppy chive plants, so I figured I would cut them all down to half their height. This would give me neater plants, and some chives to eat, thought I, plus stimulating the plants to grow more. So I cut...and cut...and cut. My basket filled with chives. There were too many -- I threw some in the compost. I dug some up and put them in pots; maybe someone else would like chive plants. I finally finished the job and lugged the load of onion-grass into the kitchen to wash it. It completely filled the kitchen sink. It took me almost an hour just to wash it all. I finally realized that I had TOO MANY CHIVES. I could give onion breath to the entire population of Istanbul. I could cover a baked potato the size of Kentucky. And worse yet, I have no potatoes in the house, and precious few recipes that even call for chives. What was I thinking? I cannot change my predicament, but I can at least let others know of the dangers of growing TOO MANY CHIVES. In the meantime, if anyone needs 10-20 cups of chives, or some chive plants, let me know. ;)

I discovered, or re-discovered, some other facts as well:

Sometimes it is TOO HOT to garden comfortably. I'm pretty sure I already knew this. I seem to recall a dreadfully hot day last summer that I alternated between weeding the garden and sitting, slumped and panting, in the delightfully air-conditioned house, wondering what the signs of heatstroke were.

No amount of bug repellant will actually keep mosquitoes from landing on me and attempting to feast on my blood. However, bug spray does seem to reduce somewhat the final number of itchy bumps I develop after being in the garden, just enough to keep me using it (surely the intent of the manufacturers, who are sitting in a bug-free office somewhere laughing their heads off at me). And bug repellant does seem to confuse the mosquitoes enough that they don't just feast and leave, but rather they circle my head and fly at my eyes, wondering in their tiny neural circuits why the walking blood-bag smells funny today.

Ants are weird. I think I knew this already, too, but I am struck with renewed astonishment that they can create an entire ant-nest in an empty plastic pot I left next to the shed. And they seem to love the taste of gladiolas. Since most of my gladiolas had fallen over (because I forgot the important fact that they need to be staked to stay upright...*sigh*), there were thick lines of ants bustling in and out of the flowers, hoping for a hit. "Hey, man, I really need a fix, and the other gladiola bar is already out of juice...just let me in for a minute, huh?" And what are those little white things ants always seem to be carrying? Are they bits of food, or eggs, or ant-suitcases, or what?

I suck at growing vegetables. This is my first year trying to grow vegetables, and apart from a few kohlrabi (which were, admittedly, tasty), my vegetable growing has been pretty dismal. I have raised some mutant cauliflower, which looks bizarre and tastes terrible, some zucchini flowers (but no zucchini yet), and some lacy fronds of asparagus which I can't harvest for three years. I put in some beans and corn, with the (probably unrealistic) hope that they will produce edible produce, but I remain unconvinced of my ability to raise food. Maybe that's why I live near three grocery stores and scores of restaurants -- the universe is telling me to give up farming. On the other hand, I do very well with herbs, so we'll be swimming in basil pesto by the end of the summer.

And now, I'm off to dinner with colleagues from work. Poor Q, who has to spend the whole night listening to psychology-talk -- that's the cost of living with an academic! But it promises to be a good meal, since my colleague's wife is a professional chef (studied in France, I think), so maybe Q won't mind too much.